The End of the World As We Know it (May)

Sharp Woman

Sunday, May 22, 2011 – We are all still here, Ca.- Harold Camping got more people laid and drunk yesterday than any other day the whole calendar year, including New Years. I mean it was an orgiastic pow-wow that, no doubt, lasted deep into the May 21st night which had been predicted (by Camping, not the Bible) to be the world’s last day.As expected, I am eating my raisin bran and having coffee this morning the 22nd.Given the empty threat of the end of the world occurring yesterday, with Christ’s return, humanity was given one more pseudo-reminder that eventually if we do not see Christ come here, we shall very probably see Him individually in relatively short order (say 10-70 years).
The overall collective response yesterday was to laugh at Camping (appropriate) then party and screw. It’s generally what we do. It’s like all those thousands of movies where the two strangers, placed in a dire situation that needs immediate response, find 30 minutes to get a room and bang away like crazed weasels. I mean really…how many movies have you seen that do that?

So thank you Harold Camping for giving humanity a day and night of unhindered revelry at Christianity’s expense. I am sure Jesus is very happy with the press you gave Him and the riotous shit you provoked.And for those who believed? One poor shmuck spent $140k of his life savings plastering billboards around NYC. He was stymied when nothing happened. Funny, I wonder if his confusion about that relates to his spending the 140k? Same brain.The guy who really NAILS this bitch is Mark Morford of SFGate (The SF Chronicle), who happens to be, perhaps, the best damned columnist/blogger/humorist on the planet. If you only have five minutes stop reading ME and read HIM instead.But turning serious now, I like Arriana Huffington’s swift bead on the week here. It’s not overstated; just simple and true.

What Does Piss Me Off

I am aggravated by guys like Camping. They make my life, as a Believer, a running joke. On days like yesterday I am glad I am a practicing Zen Buddhist and an active member of AA, which is an inclusive organization that promotes spirituality and relationship with a Higher Power.

Put simply: I do not mind being ridiculed, rejected or criticized for beliefs in real differences of belief. Go ahead and raise your eyebrow at the fact I believe miracles occurred, the resurrection happened in time and space and that Jesus was, and is, Divine.That is all fair and good. And we do not need to be in agreement. I don’t judge anyone…my job is to love. If you judge me? I understand. You’re problem. But it was probably because some Christian asshole got in your face with his or her own agenda at some crucial time in your life and fucked it up.I didn’t and would not do that. I doubt Jesus was terribly happy with it either. As Max Von Sydow’s character in Woody Allen’s Hannah and Her Sisters says “If Jesus came back today and saw what was done in his name?…He would never stop throwing up.”

But you see we never get to a genuine discussion because of guys like Camping who almost physically attach their own insane, bizarre, anti-biblical and perverse agendas to Jesus and His Gospel of “Good News”. They make it “Bad News” immediately…which should tell us all we need to know.

I was at a meeting yesterday here in Marin and author Anne Lamott was in attendance. I love Anne Lamott and I have been to her church many times in Marin City. Part of me wanted to walk up and say “Hi Sis…so ready to meet Jesus today up in the air?” But she doesn’t know me well enough yet.And besides, I thought, Harold Camping is not worth the time or attention to bother a truly great woman and Christian mind with. No. I just smiled at her with her glorious dreadlocks and gave a nod.Me?

I spent the day chaste and sober. I like the latter, am ambiguous about the former. It was a beautiful day…and back at the ranch (Mill Street) the community was alive, fun, open and I had some great talks with folk. Fact is, if I had 10k in the bank right now I’d stay here another month at the very least. I am having too much fun. People are amazing if you let them be and live in love.

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