Week Two, Day Two (Tuesday)

The Diff. The thinner shot is after the other one (Thank God)

Last Night

The first thing I noticed when I got my food stamp card yesterday was I was less hungry all day. Just knowing you have some control over your caloric intake and what you decide to eat makes a huge psychological difference for some people. You move from a place of perceived scarcity to one of abundance (or at least if you already get breakfast and dinner). I can choose to pass on the huge amounts of pasta served nightly if I want to and focus on salad and purchase proteins.

I can also (so long as I am willing to share) “donate” things I want available (like light ranch dressing today). I can also stow away (in my locker and in my private bag) things like Starbucks double shot light cans, what I call Vincent D’Ofrio instant espresso, some sugar free cookies (so I do not get sucked into sugar-infested products that are everywhere). I also can go down to 7-11 and get a cold soda after dinner when it is hot.

All of these things are basically health issues as well as self-esteem issues.

As I had an extra $40 on the card from the end of this month, I splurged and treated others to melted brie on Waterford crackers with spreadable blackberry jam from France.

Today a Decision Day

I have to show up at what people simply call “The GA”. This is important if I want an assured place here while I look for work. It basically gets money to the Shelter. If not I have to look at other options with my “counselor Mr. T. He is dismayed by both my poise and lack of depression. As you might expect, this results in actual better treatment.

Still I need to get the GA taken care of (and going at 8 just places me in a stand-by mode…like going to an airport in hopes someone gets bumped from a flight). Then I have an important errand to run for my son Adam, then hopefully either to Larryboy’s to make some cash for laundry, or to Starbuck’s to do job search/appeals.

Wednesday I plan on going to the beach. Serious. They have free wifi at Crissy Field; the Safeway is nearby and now that I have the card (FS) I can buy a sandwich and a drink and sit for a good long while; work…then throw myself in the Bay before busing home. The bus ride is about 20 minutes.

MacWaterboy really needs that right now. It’s getting hot here, my bike is in Carmel and I need a change of scene for my head. I can also catch a meeting at what is literally named the “Dry Docks”.

It is unfortunate, but Iam back being the right-side guy and I am exercising a lot. It is all that from here on out no bad carbs, no sugar…etc… If I could get my bike either up here from Carmel or sold so I can buy one for Marin I would be totally set till rainy season.

But I am receiving no cooperation from down South. Just emails about getting into Recovery…which at this point is like telling a daily golfer “Dammit! You really need to think about taking up golf!”

So it goes.

The nice thing is I know that with diet and exercise I will drop right back down to 265. And I can stay there.

One funny story (among many). The other day a guy was standing in the office and I can up behind him to wasit my turn talking to staff. He turned expecting to exit and BOUNCED off my like a wall. He started cracking up. I am WAY toooo BIG. But that is the least of my problems and I am addressing it (thus the audiacity of publishing such a horrific picture. Note it is the same shirt).


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. wadesmith
    Jul 03, 2010 @ 13:39:54

    Not only do you look thinner, healthier, and Conneryesquer, but you’ve thankfully shed that damn green tone. The MacMan !!!


    • bakdon
      Jul 03, 2010 @ 17:27:38

      Actually I think Rodan has it closer…it is more jaundiced than green, but perhasyou have that red/green thing a lot of guys have.


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